UP TO YOUR NECK IN PARENTING DOGMA-DOO? Step into something more personally-correct-- 7 WARNING SIGNS THAT BIG MOTHER IS WATCHING

Excerpt : WHO’S MAKING YOUR PARENTING DECISIONS? You… or the Mommy Police? The Mommy Police? They’re just a fiction--an adult version of the Bogey Man, aren’t they? Well, maybe they don’t actually inhabit

WHO’S MAKING YOUR PARENTING DECISIONS?

You… or the Mommy Police?

The Mommy Police? They’re just a fiction--an adult version of the Bogey Man, aren’t they?

Well, maybe they don’t actually inhabit the bodies of the living dead like your mother-in-law, your ex-pediatrician and that busybody next door. But there is one place this Gestapo may be alive and well and controlling your life. And that’s inside your own head--enforcing the Shoulds, Shouldn’ts and Shame of Parenting Absolutes.

YES, BIG MOTHER IS WATCHING.

The pressure is intense. Good parenting can seem like a mixture of magic and luck. Lives are at stake and one screw-up can seem fatal. Fear of failure can drive parents to dogma.

Every parent is a walking advice magnet. A moving target with a sign that says "Correct My Parenting Please."

“ Black Belt Parenting-The Art of Raising your Child for Success" Also see : Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept her on a tight leash. They rarely considered her feelings about anything, showing a complete lack of empathy and compassion for her feelings and desires. If she came home five minutes...read more Mommy & Baby: More Parenting Tidbits Diapers: as a rule, most PDF babies will need a diaper change that corresponds with their feeding times. This will total 6-8 diapers per day, or more if you manage to change your baby prior to her pooping. Most new parents learn to "time" the diaper...read more

Your preschool teacher says no pacifiers. Your church group is an exclusive SAHM's club. Your brother says a family bed is Satan's playground. Your sister warns that every month you don't breastfeed, your child loses an IQ point.

The cultural contradictions are even crazier.

If you give your child too much attention you'll spoil him.

If you don't give him enough, he'll grow up sociopathic.

Put your child in daycare and you’re abnegating your responsibility.

Keep her at home and you/re sheltering her too much.

The doublespeak of Big Mother.

Whether we're Mormon, atheist, Pagan or Muslim--public schoolers, homeschoolers or freeschoolers, the fear of doing it wrong makes all parents susceptible to dogmatism.

Who wouldn't want to run and hide behind a Big Powerful Dogma that justifies her

Also see : Identifying the 4 Parenting Styles Do you know what kind of parent you are? This is an important question to answer because as a parent your end goal is to raise a happy, healthy, successful child and to reach that goal you need to be the best parent you can be. The four main...read more The Challenges of Single Parenting Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I’ve discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through...read more

actions?

Isn’t it safer to surrender to the omniscient authorities and follow what They Say Is Best? The Superhighway of Convention is easier than taking that pot-holed frontage road of personal truth. Dogma is a narcotic. It runs your life while you sleep. So parents are off the hook. No more personal responsibility. But isn’t personal responsibility exactly what most parents want to teach their children?

When we hand over the helm to doctrine, dictate or dogma, we cheat our children and ourselves of the greatest growth experience parenting has to offer: discovering who we really are.

But Big Mother works in the subconscious. How can you tell if you've been taken over by parenting piracy?

WATCH FOR 7 WARNING SIGNS THAT DOGMA’S IN THE DRIVER SEAT

1. Big Mother may declare Martial Law in the Lizard Brain but the

Also see : Not Just Parenting: Good Parenting It's been said that children are our future. Not only that, the future is our children's inheritance. As what happens in the past is what influences the future, it is the duty, and moral obligation of the parents to provide good parenting to...read more Parenting - Find The Right Balance! Parenting can be a daunting prospect even for the most accomplished and the most prepared. Good parenting is a balance of many different factors and you will need to discipline as well as spend good, quality time with your child. In this modern...read more

body will rebel. Listen to your gut. Let that gnawing fury, weepy resistance or cringing resentment inform you. If that one-size-fits-all solution doesn’t quite fit you--your gut will let you know. Look for solutions that feel personally-correct.

2. When someone else’s parenting style triggers anxiety, check to see if it’s really yourself you’re judging. Are you trying to wear a Maternal Perfection Suit? Your authenticity is the gift no one else can give your children.

3. Is there room in your family system for you to be who you are? Or have you had to do too much psychological liposuction--carving away all your selfhood to fit into that skinny formula for Perfect Motherhood? Put the Me back in Mommee!

4. Is there a battle of good and evil constantly raging in your head over every parenting decision? It’s a Clash

Also see : Children's Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences? Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to...read more PARENTING DILEMMAS: FINDING SUPPORT ONLINE The role of being a parent is full of trials and tribulations. The good times are great, but the bad times can make you feel frustrated and lonely. Friendly advice: to take it or not? Confiding in friends and family about problems at home is...read more

of The Subliminal Titans when dogmas duke it out. Absolutes and objective truth are fine for a hollow deity like Big Mother. But families are organic, growing systems. Trust your own subjective humanity.

5. Are your children disappointing you? It’s time to check and see if those high expectations grew out of your family’s authentic needs--or did the Mommy Police plant them? Question authority. Everyone’s happier when family life is custom-made.

6. Are you constantly disappointed in yourself--feeling you just can't live up to what you're supposed to be? Maybe that Perfection Suit has tightened into an iron maiden. Maybe you're children need the real you even more than they need that "perfect parenting."

7. Are you obeying The First Commandment of Big Mother: Thou shalt not complain? Well, Break it. Without recognizing

Also see : Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions Let’s face it: raising children can be quite the adventure. Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next – it’s the ultimate roller-coaster for the parenting thrill seeker. In the Game of Life, you rolled the dice and accepted the role of...read more MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part IV Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer Imposing Their Future. In contradiction to parents who try to force children down a certain path, individual purpose must be a product of cognition, if it is to sustain the spiritual health of the entity to...read more

pain, we can't take the first step to finding out the cause and healing it.

When we hide behind dogma to protect our children, we deny them access to our humanity and put their own at risk. Yes, Big Mother is watching. But it’s time we took a good long look at HER!

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About The Author

Joan Bechtel @2005 All Rights Reserved

Joan Bechtel, award-winning comedienne, early childhood educator and author of MOTHERHOOD CONFIDENTIAL, is a Personalized Parenting speaker, helping women out of the dogma-doo to find their own personally-correct answers. For free tips: When Motherhood Tears Friendship Apart-7 way to Keep It Together, 10 Antidotes to Toxic Taboos, Guide to Creating Your Own Internal U.N. go to http://www.MotherhoodConfidential.com

Revolutionary 'Mom Has Fun' Parenting Method For Raising Happy Well-Behaved Kids!

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