Stop 'Shoulding' on Yourself: Parenting Without Resentment

Excerpt : Parenting extroverted children sure can be exhausting for an introvert. Constant noise, questions, chatter. No room in my head to hear myself think. Actually, now that my kids are finally in bed, and

Parenting extroverted children sure can be exhausting for an introvert. Constant noise, questions, chatter. No room in my head to hear myself think. Actually, now that my kids are finally in bed, and I CAN hear myself think, I realize that I’ve been having problems setting boundaries lately.

When I have a project to complete or an email to write or a phone call to make, I haven’t been remembering to just say so and declare a certain amount of uninterrupted time for myself. Instead, I try to write with one hand and help with homework with the other. And all I get is tired. It

“ Black Belt Parenting-The Art of Raising your Child for Success" Also see : John Wayne vs the Petticoat Approach to Parenting Different parenting styles lead to a new invention that combine the best of both. My husband and I have different views on parenting. He likes to recount a scene from an old John Wayne movie, "Hondo", where a young boy doesn't know how...read more Parenting Just Right - The Number One Secret Our number one secret is a simple formula that will help you parent Just Right. You'll be in control of your emotions, proud of your behavior, and pleased with your child's reactions. Let's find out how. I remember a young father who took his...read more

didn’t occur to me before tonight how exhausting it is to fragment my attention.

Or maybe it did, and I just forgot.

Hey, it happens!

Anyway, right on cue, just as I was sitting here writing this, my daughter showed up at the top of the stairs. I had tucked her in an hour earlier, and frankly I was pretty ready to be done with parenting for the night. She whined that she couldn’t get comfortable in her bed.

If this had been one of my well-rested and nurturing moments, I might have remembered that there was a big event at school the next day and she was nervous about it. I

Also see : Guilt Free Parenting I don’t know about you, but I do guilt very well. At times, it seems like I can feel guilty for almost anything. Also, as a parent I mess up routinely. I can be short with my temper and my words are not always pleasant. Also, there seems to be a new...read more Mommy & Baby: Parenting Tidbits There are many issues which new parents are bombarded with and many things they are expected to know immediately. None of this is fair, as most new parents are simply trying to care for their baby and get some rest. Here are some of the topics which...read more

probably would have gone into her room for a while and helped her settle down.

But it wasn’t one of those moments. So I told her in as neutral and loving of a voice as I could muster, “Do the best you can. I know you’ll be fine. I’ll see you in the morning.” The second the words left my mouth I felt guilty, but I was just too wiped out to do anything with my guilt. She slouched back to her room, and I didn’t hear from her again.

… until breakfast the next morning. At which point I was well-rested again, so I checked in with her about what was going on the night before. She told me

Also see : Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child There is much literature on how to parent challenging children these days. Unfortunately much of that literature does not typically address the child with special parenting needs and a special parenting understanding. A child that has been...read more Parenting Tip: 7 Ways to Master Storytelling and Mesmerize Your Child Copyright 2006 Paul Arinaga Human beings have been telling stories for several millennia. And, as parents, we've all heard about the benefits of telling stories to our children. The only problem is that, as with so many things, no one ever...read more

her blankets were all twisted up and she couldn’t fit her feet into her bed. My guilt delivered its verdict with the pound of the gavel ... BAD MOTHER! But in the next breath she set me free.

“Mom, I didn’t know what to do until you helped me. You told me to do the best I could. So I went back upstairs and I figured out how to fix it, and I fell right to sleep.”

And she was serious!

Wow. All that guilt for nothing!! Turns out that she was fine. Even better than fine — my exhaustion and unwillingness to exert effort on her behalf actually facilitated her accessing her inner

Also see : MORAL ARMOR'S Irrational Parenting, Part II Handing Down Malignancy. Children may begin bright and eager to face the world, but are often inundated with the conditioning of their fear-ridden predecessors speaking of lost dreams—taken by no one in particular. Their guardians appear...read more Parenting Tip - How to Use Your Children to Get Things Done If you have children over the age of eight or nine years old, here is a parenting tip on how you can get things done quicker and easier with the help of your kids. It will cut your chores in half and give your children the opportunity to learn...read more

resources.

The moral of the story: Take care of yourself first, and everything else falls into balance. Don’t let the voice of guilt entice you into overextending yourself on behalf of your kids. Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is refuse to help them, especially if doing so is going to cost you more than you can cheerfully give.

Helping a child while feeling resentment does her no favor in the long run! Take care of your own needs first. Go for a walk, take a nap ... do whatever you need to do to get yourself feeling full, happy, and generous again before you engage with

Also see : 5 Tips for Successful Grandparenting Building on the cherished connection between grandparents and grandchildren is a life-long privilege. As grandchildren grow and mature the role grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren changes but the principals remain true at any age. ...read more What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for an Infant? Is there such thing as divorce parenting practices that is best appropriate for an infant? I tell you, yes there is. In fact, it's not only for infant. At every stage of children's development, whether infants, toddlers, preschoolers, elementary...read more

your kids. The gifts that you share with your family from your state of fulfillment are the ones that truly nourish and sustain them.

Copyright 2005 Karen Alonge

About The Author

Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting mentor with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit http://www.karenalonge.com for more information.

Revolutionary 'Mom Has Fun' Parenting Method For Raising Happy Well-Behaved Kids!

More Parenting Articles

Practical Parenting Advice | sitemap
copyright www.parentingadvices.com 2006
Warning: include() [function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19

Warning: include(http://www.ultrasonicspabath.com/adsenselogger.inc) [function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.ultrasonicspabath.com/adsenselogger.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/lib/php:/usr/local/lib/php') in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19