Parenting Manual

Excerpt : Just when we seem to have parenting techniques that work with the first child we discover that they don’t work with the next. Wouldn’t it be great if children were born with instructions? When you

Just when we seem to have parenting techniques that work with the first child we discover that they don’t work with the next. Wouldn’t it be great if children were born with instructions? When you understand your children’s perceptual styles, you’ll discover they really are born with an “instruction manual.”

Each of us is a unique combination of the Four Perceptions: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. When children are born, they are 100 percent Feelers. Although they will continue to have sensitive feelings during their formative years, their primary Perception will begin to reveal itself when they’re about six months old.

The following is an excerpt of a story that reveals how differently the child behaves based on his primary perceptual style.

The principal desire for AUDIO Children is to maintain personal control and a sense of fairness.

I was sitting in the allergist’s office when a woman entered with her four-year-old, Aaron, and his cousins, Carrie, 13, and Curt, 11. Immediately Aaron started acting silly. His mother told him to sit down and behave. “No!” he shouted and

“ Black Belt Parenting-The Art of Raising your Child for Success" Also see : Parenting Your Employees to Better Performance Copyright 2005 Inez Ng Have you ever worked for someone who was such a micro-manager that it drove you crazy? And have you ever worked for someone who was so hands-off that you felt like a lone warrior on the battlefield? These are examples of...read more 8 Steps to Financially Intelligent Parenting A free-reprint article written by: Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D., © 2005 Reprint Terms - You can publish this article electronically in free-only publications, websites, and ezines as long as the bylines and hyperlinks are included. -...read more

giggled.

He picked up magazines and threw them on the floor. “Pick them up and put them back,” his mother demanded. Aaron hurled them on the table and then noisily started rolling and kicking on the floor.

His mother glared. “Get up and sit down right now!” His seat barely touched the cushion before he was back on the floor again.

His mother said in a firm voice, “When we get home, we’re having a cookout and then we’re going swimming. If you don’t behave, you will eat in your room and stay there for the rest of the night. The choice is yours.”

The change in Aaron was instantaneous. “I’ll be good.”

Aaron’s actions were motivated by his desire to maintain personal control. He wanted to show off to his cousins. When his control of the situation was threatened, his emotions drove his reactions and he became defiant.

When Aaron’s mother gave him a choice, it allowed him to maintain personal control and he sensed the fairness.

The principal desire for FEELER Children is to please you or not make you angry.
For Feelers, their feelings drive both their actions and

Also see : Parenting Strategy, One of the Worst Ever! Some parents rush to serve every squeak and squawk from their kids. "I can't let my child feel pain!" said one dad. Parents, if you are giving way too much, find out why your parenting strategy may be one of the worst strategies ever. I...read more What 3 Greatest Gift You Can Give To Your Children by Co-Parenting? A successful divorce is one in which the parents divorce each other but do not require the child to divorce one of the parents, either as a result of parental conflict or by one parent not being available to the child. It is a well-established...read more

reactions. Here is a summary of the same scenario about Aaron, only this time he’s a Feeler.

Aaron was excited because his cousins were visiting. He started spinning around with his arms outstretched. Suddenly he lost his balance and crashed into the corner of the end table. “That’s enough!” his mother snapped. “Come over here and sit down right now.”

With his eyes lowered and shoulders hunched, he crept over to the chair in the corner. He drew up his knees and rested his head on his knees. Soon he quietly raised his head to wipe away a tear. Then he slid off his chair and pulled his shorts down to reveal the bruise to his mother while tears flowed and he whimpered, “I hurt myself.”

“I’m sure it hurts, but it will get better,” she said matter-of-factly.

Aaron threw his arms around his mother and said he was sorry. “It’s okay,” she said and smiled. Aaron glowed. All was right with his world. His mother wasn’t mad at him. With a happy smile, he said, “I love you.”

The principal desire for Visual Children is for everything to be perfect, just as they visualized it.

Visual

Also see : Imperfect Parenting Shortly after having my first baby, I decided I was going to be the perfect parent. I immediately began to keep an intelligent library of child-rearing books on my nightstand and would replenish the stock as each book was absorbed into...read more Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions Let’s face it: raising children can be quite the adventure. Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next – it’s the ultimate roller-coaster for the parenting thrill seeker. In the Game of Life, you rolled the dice and accepted the role of...read more

children are usually obedient, unless they have to deal with an unexpected change. Then they might resist. Let’s revisit Aaron as a Visual child.

Aaron was excited because his cousins were visiting. “Let’s play!” he thought. He leaned against his cousin, Curt, and started pushing on his knees. Curt playfully pushed back Aaron’s shoulders.

Aaron pushed harder. Curt returned the shove a little too hard and Aaron suddenly plopped on the floor. He giggled loudly and started pushing his cousin’s legs with his feet.

“Stop that,” Curt demanded. Aaron pushed again. This was fun!

“Aaron,” his mother said sternly, “get up and sit down next to me.”

Aaron climbed on to the chair. While he looked down at the floor, humiliation engulfed him. What must his cousins think of him?

When his mother’s name was called, she got up to leave. Aaron quickly slid out of his chair and tearfully ran toward her. She turned and said, “You can stay and Carrie can read to you.”

“But we always go together!” Aaron wailed. His mother stretched out her hand and he gratefully took it. She realized

Also see : Effective Parenting Techniques - How to use Time Out Successfully Dr Phil in his effective parenting survey of 17,000 people found that the two top challenges facing parents were making punishment work and improving school performance. In my experience as a class teacher and coach I have noticed that the...read more Tools for Parenting - Anger Management for Families (Part 1) Dr. Kevin Nunley USE THE MEDIA--marketing help for biz. "Do News Releases Work?" Invariably, when I talk with business people on-line, someone asks that question. Many of us have sent out a press release only to...read more

he wanted to do what they usually do, get their shots together. Visuals like routine because they can visualize what comes next.

The principal desire for Wholistic Children is to be treated like an adult.
Since Wholistic children see themselves as adults, usually they are well behaved unless they’re tired, bored or resentful. How different is Aaron’s story as a Wholistic.

Aaron ran over to the chairs and asked Curt to sit on one side of him and Carrie on the other. Aaron pointed out the children’s books. “I know all of them,” he boasted. “Would you like one?” Carrie nodded.

Carrie started reading but it was going too slowly for Aaron. “I’ll read,” he said. He took the book and started telling the story. He quickly zipped through all the books.

As the minutes ticked by, boredom struck. He crawled under Carrie’s chair. “I’m in my cave and if you get too close, I’ll eat you,” he squealed delightedly. He tickled the back of Carrie’s legs. She let out a yell and stood up. Aaron laughed uproariously.

He pushed his head against the back of Curt’s legs. “If you don’t open the door

Also see : Parenting A Gifted Child When it comes parenting a gifted child, there are a number of considerations. Probably the most common, is the fact that, as a parent you just are uncertain as to how to respond to the gifted child’s unique development and personality traits....read more PARENTING DILEMMAS: FINDING SUPPORT ONLINE The role of being a parent is full of trials and tribulations. The good times are great, but the bad times can make you feel frustrated and lonely. Friendly advice: to take it or not? Confiding in friends and family about problems at home is...read more

right now, I’ll bite you!” Curt parted his legs and Aaron squirmed through. The game was over.

Restlessness swept over Aaron again. He heard thunder and perked up. “Can I go see the storm?”

Carrie volunteered to take him. He instantly went from looking completely wilted to gleefully running to the door.

Soon he burst into the room. “Mommy, you should see the rainbow. Hurry before it goes away!” Ah, the wonderful, exciting world of new things to explore and investigate. And he was standing tall as his mother placed her arm around his shoulders.

When you recognize how each perceptual style influences actions and reactions, this insight helps you accept your children as they are instead of comparing them to other children. All children respond to love and acceptance.


About the author:
Carol Welsh, M.S. is the author of “Stop When You See Red.” She has over 25 years of experience as a speaker and is a frequent guest on talk shows. Her Web site is www.stopred.com

Revolutionary 'Mom Has Fun' Parenting Method For Raising Happy Well-Behaved Kids!

More Parenting Articles

Practical Parenting Advice | sitemap
copyright www.parentingadvices.com 2006
Warning: include() [function.include]: URL file-access is disabled in the server configuration in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19

Warning: include(http://www.ultrasonicspabath.com/adsenselogger.inc) [function.include]: failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening 'http://www.ultrasonicspabath.com/adsenselogger.inc' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/lib/php:/usr/local/lib/php') in /home/parentin/public_html/php/footer.php on line 19