Mommy & Baby: Styles Of Parenting

Excerpt : As a parent, you have the opportunity to set the tone in your home based on the style of parenting you choose. You can choose child-centered parenting or family-centered parenting--the differences

As a parent, you have the opportunity to set the tone in your home based on the style of parenting you choose. You can choose child-centered parenting or family-centered parenting--the differences will be discussed here.

 Child-centered Parenting o Intensely pursue the child's happiness, taking great strains to avoid discomfort or emotional stress for the child. o The child receives what she wants when she wants it: no delay, no

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waiting.

These concepts might not sound too bad, but what happens when Mom is sick? Or when Mom & Dad want to leave the baby with a sitter? There is little-to-no freedom in this parenting plan--and the baby will not grow in to a child who understands delayed gratification or how the world works. Additionally, this sets a child up for a bad case of "me-ism"--other people will not matter to her. Her goals and needs are paramount to everyone else's goals and

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needs, and the ability to look outward and understand being part of a team will be compromised.

 Family-centered Parenting o Keeps the baby's needs met, but within the appropriate context of the family unit. o The child enters in to a team-setting; she is not the center of the universe, but part of the family-team.

These concepts might not seem very different from the child-centered approach to parenting, but the results of the two methods

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are starkly different. Parents have the freedom to meet their child's needs and look ahead to developing skills and abilities, as they aren't catering to every fleeting whim or fancy a child might express. Sitters are okay for the family, as the parents will take time out to "date" and be intentional with each other. Because a baby raised in a family-centered plan understands that she is part of a team, she will learn "we-ism," not "me-ism." She will consider

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others as she grows and how her goals and needs can be met within the framework of a team--without compromising the others on the team.

You may know people on either side of these parenting styles who go overboard. That's not what I'm advocating here; a balance must be achieved. Remember these things:

 Life doesn't stop because you have a baby  Date your spouse  Continue those loving gestures you enjoyed before your baby came

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along  Invite some friends over for food and fellowship  At the end of each day, spend 15 minutes sitting with your spouse, discussing the day's events
About the Author

Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and parenting expert specializing new mothers and single parent issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.

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